Thursday, November 27, 2014

horse

haunting horse -
i had my grip in your mane
i thought my balance could remain
with ease,
but you've got your mustang core
and you do adore
to bring me low.

haunting horse -
your reins dissolved in my hands
leaving my palms with burn-mark bands:
a written record of my fall,
of how my poise dissolved in a blink,
before i could remember to think
that i'm not that person i no longer know.

haunting horse -
i feared you once but then forgot how
but in being upseated - it all came back now
and that forgotten person reappeared.
i bit through my tongue on the way
and the blood in my mouth seems to say
"there is no hope for you to grow."

haunting horse -
you whisper to me that i'm small and weak
that i cannot, that i will not, that i am too meek,
and having fallen, i begin to believe
that i will never have a place on your back
and all i can see is all that i lack
and all the places i cannot go.

haunting horse -
you did not trot away
but hover above me every day
as a taunt.
your breath an eerie steam in the air
pervading my thoughts everywhere
a numbing fog, a blinding woe.

haunting horse -
although i'm bruised and feeling broken
i feel something in me awoken
and i will ride you once again.
i will not be entranced by your stare
i will chase you down anywhere
strength rising from my sorrow.

haunting horse -
i will master your stride
i will seek you and will not hide -
my wounds becoming my courage.
and if i fall repeatedly still,
it will serve to harden my will
the haunting becoming friend instead of foe.