Thursday, May 30, 2013

kept


remembered
(and then forgot)
never found
(was already lost)
possible
(dissolved to impossible)
discarded
(because was unkeepable)
silent
(since always unspoken)
closed
(too petrified to open)
invisible
(but visibly broken)
asleep
(too long unawoken)
empty
(too fissured to fill)
motionless
(moving to be still)
frozen
(never thawed)
expressionless
(could not be awed)
avoided
(but sometimes sought)
ripened 
(turned quickly to rot)
masked
(refused exposure)
calm
(never without composure)
rooted
(frightened to be swept)
remember how easily you forget?

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

feathered


the feathered wings
flutter and fly
disturb tepid thoughts
now comfortably dry

the constructed calm
blown and bucked
by the wings that beat
to bring a qualm

but the flame is cold
breathless and asleep
buried deep beneath
an ash dune foretold

the wings stir a haze
frenzied and grey
but no glow underneath
no new light comes ablaze

the wings fold in
bested and beaten
the dust falls slowly
forms an abiding curtain.

the air grows quiet
settled and sure
the sound of silence
is the failure of a riot

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

chorus

life never slows down.

yes i am aware of how cliche that phrase is and how overly hyperbolic and overstated any, if not all of the below is. but God has put it on my heart a lot lately, so here it is just the same.

and yes, my life has not yet been as long as others, so perhaps i lack the proper hindsight to say this with validity, and maybe that is why i also feel foolish writing any of this, but, from what i can see form my humble amount of experience: life never slows down.

i have, in every 'busy' season of life, told myself that "i'll have more time when (insert next life milestone) is completed" or "life will slow down when (insert next major achievement goal) is reached." but it is just a falsity.  i have long been bitter about this, i'm selfish with my time, always want more of it, cling to the corner of free time i carve out for myself and lock everyone and everything out from entrance when God calls me away from it.  not that having alone time is bad in all cases, but i crave it too often, and am denied it more and more of late.

and some (like myself) might find the fact that time is always fleeting and in short supply mournful, or depressing, or just frighteningly overwhelming.  with the martha-mentality, there is always so much that i need and want to do, and time is an evasive, fickle thing, creating a good deal of disheartened frustration for those (like me) who try to hard to capture it in a jar for later use.  God has recently whispered...or rather shouted...to me that this is worth celebration and not lament: life never slows down.

we weave our own list of things we need or want to do, activities we want to learn or be involved in, people we come to know and want to spend time with into a shroud we hang upon our shoulders.  the choice is ours whether we perceive this shroud as a weight to bear or a comfort to wrap ourselves in.

business can be chaos, or the business we're blessed with can become a chorus of richness.  i, for one,  thank God that i have been blessed with enough enjoyable things to be involved in and inspiring people to do such things with to have a life that makes my cup overflow.

so, i try not to lament for the time i don't seem to have to do 'x', 'y', or 'z' but instead to marvel and give praise for the fact that my life seems a swiftly flowing river, creating a sound that i can see as either a cocophony or a chorus.

i pray that i always choose chorus.